Mankind has been plagued with attempting to answer this question. It has in fact, gained more popularity than, “what is the meaning of life?”
I have been battling this conundrum for a very long time, and have to say, I am as clueless, if not more so, now, than when I first embarked upon this impossible quest.
My first finding: despite the macho bravado, guys are afraid of rejection. It is in our genes (not jeans!). I came across a delightful anecdote that explains this; lets go back one, two, maybe a couple of million years ago, when cavemen roamed the earth. Back then, the groups that the cavemen lived in had plenty of men, and few women. The men were hunters, gatherers, and more importantly, continuity providers! They had to get the women’s attention. If poor Fred (as in Flintstone) attempted to talk to Wilma, and got rejected, for whatever reason, Wilma would tell Betty, Betty would tell Roxie, and so on and so on (moral of the story: women talk.). All the women in the clan would shun Fred for his oafishness, which could be through no fault of his own except that Wilma was not in the mood, and as a result, Fred’s “Line” will be forever lost, because he made one mistake.
What do women want?
I represent the dying breed of decent gentlemen. Those who pull out chairs, and whip up compliments in the blink of an eye. Caring, providing etc. you know the type. A true romantic at heart, a poet even. Love settlers, in that we look for that one-in-a-million person and stick with her through thick and thin.
I used to be under the impression (and you can blame romantic comedies for this), that women “dug” the sensitive guy. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying sensitive as in chick flick and tear box, I just mean caring, loving etc.
You know the type; think Mathew Broderick in addicted to love, that’s me.
Now, you have the current ordeal of America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock, a decent woman, everyone can attest to that, BUT, she’s married to.. Jesse James. Who used to be married to, a porn-star, who bore him children.
What happened here? What is it about the, for lack of a better term, bad guys, that attracts women? Whatever happened to the proverb “nice guys finish last”?
All those self-help books about how to meet women; they all stress one point (yes, I read a few online) be casual, flirty, funny and, i forget the fourth.
Let me stress at this point that I have few problems approaching “strange” women and starting up a conversation. I do however go through an extensive thought process before-hand. But, I do have success stories. And none revolved around what was being preached in those books.
Its not in me to insult a girl, even playfully. It goes against my nature. I cannot understand how the bad guy appeal trumps the good guy for real.
Again, it is a really confusing issue. You talk to a girl, you have to think about when to call her back, you cannot call back insistently or else you’ll be seen as needy and that is a turn-off. But isn’t it human nature, to have that desire, to love and be loved? Why do I constantly have to consider what to do, what not to do, what she thinks I should do, what she really wants me to do. ARGH!
Why has love turned into a bureaucratic government building decorated in red-tape and jargon?
I want to fall in love again, I do not know how to go about it. Everything is a test (Collin Farrell- The Recruit). Is that right? Is everything a test? Do I always have to think of the scenario i.e. wall-post on fb, does she want me to reply immediately? Or privately? Should I make it sound like I don’t care? Or compliment her somehow? Or just ignore her completely? Should I talk to her friends and not her, should I msg her? what, what, WHAT?
And I’m not old btw, cannot claim a generation gap, I’m still in my early twenties and hoping to find someone similarly aged. But, the question is; how?
Another question is how to go about doing this in Kuwait, but thats another tale, for another time.
Do I have to change my ways, adapt to what is the current fad, insult the girl, ignore her, treat her badly, and she’ll fall in love with you madly? Or do I stick to who I am, play the game I am comfortable with, and hope to find a hopeless romantic, like myself?
Ladies, gentlemen, your feedback would be much appreciated. What do women want, why do bad guys get the glory, what can the good guys do?