Friday, September 03, 2010

When an Unstoppable Idiot meets an Immovable Moron

The worlds greatest paradox is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Chaos. The very fabric of reality would crumble, for in physical terms, how can an unstoppable force exist in the same reality as an immovable object?

Now, what happens when an unstoppable idiot meets an immovable moron?

Comedy, and laughter. Mostly just laughter.

He may seem like a normal guy, maybe a hobo or a biker. But this white haired wacko is the infamous "Bin Laden Hunter" Gary Brooks Faulkner (aka the unstoppable idiot).

Armed with a 40-inch sword (how'd he declare that at customs?), a dagger, a pistol, night vision goggles, a small chunk of hashish (BINGO!) and religious material; he took it upon himself to undertake his own religious crusade, and that is to travel from Colorado all the way to Pakistan, and attempt to sneak across the borders into Afghanistan, where he would evenutally find, and kill Osama Bin Laden.

Man can dream right?


52-year-old Gary Brooks Faulkner of California, was arrested in Pakistan, interrupting his one-man vigilante mission to find and kill Osama bin Laden. Faulkner had entered the country as a tourist, but on Sunday ditched the security escort most foreigners in northern Pakistan are assigned and set off for the mountainous Afghan border region, where bin Laden is believed to be hiding. He was found by police in a forest in Pakistan's Chitral province.

In an attempt to blend in with the natives, Gary let his beard flow and his hair grow. News flash Gary-o, your pasty white skin which is bound to flare up and turn redder than a blushing girls cheeks will have you pinpointed a mile away.

You have to admire his determination, and pity his stupidity.

However, trust me, it gets much better, here comes the immovable moron.

Jerry Cool, an artist from Muncie, Indiana, has presented Faulkner with a painting called "A Renaissance Dream of 9-11: The Killing of Osama bin Laden," which Gary Faulkner posed with.

Cool says he was "shocked" when he saw Faulkner last month on the Late Show with David Letterman. Faulkner looked like a man Cool had seen in a dream, which inspired him to paint Faulkner vanquishing bin Laden. The man had "gray hair and a dark beard"---just like Faulkner.


Cool, convinced Faulkner is no joke, entertained Faulkner in his basement this week, presenting him with the painting. As Faulkner perused its heroic depiction of a monumental battle for the soul of humanity, he pointed out, "I had these visions myself. When I saw it, I knew it instantly. I told my brother, 'I know this place.'"


Jerry Cool, in a moment of sobriety and clairvoyance, 2 years prior, had painted this vision.

"Yes, I will have my 15 minutes of fame now please. Hold the onions. Extra Mayo."

"All right Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up."

I wonder if they are friends on Facebook?

1 comment:

Lost b2amreeka. said...

LOL!!

It's funny how he really did think he would be able to Kill Ozama (typo-ed that myself cuz im a chicken)

The man has literally disappeared off the face of the eart, roo7a bala radda enshallah.